WOW! What a day we’d just had! I’d awakened to the prospect of off and on rain, generally nasty weather… and a long day dealing with the on again, off again Wi-Fi…
Man, for something I’d resisted for so long, dreaded having to learn how to employ, fretted about the extra cargo space that the various components would occupy, and worried about the general distraction that it surely would become, I sure have become dependent upon this contraption… this smart box… this laptop computer. Dang!
The weather forecast was for rain possibly starting by late morning, then continuing off and on that day and into the next… Bummer. I didn’t want to spend much time out dodging the crazies who don’t seem to realize their driving patterns need to be adjusted for slick road conditions…
Riding in rain ain’t pleasant and it does pose some additional hazards and risks, as we all know… Sharing the road with the crazies, however… well, I don’t have a death wish, so… I usually just wait it out someplace.
I’d gotten up early, as I almost always do… well before dawn… I put the coffee on, started up my smart box (See? It’s even become part of my early morning routine!), then proceeded to go outside and scan the sky for a hint as to the progress of cloud thickening…
Stars all around, but I had been warned that would soon change, so I didn’t’ let it register… Besides, I had already bought into the forecast and concluded that this day would be a washout… and that most of it would be consumed starring into the screen and punching letters on the keyboard. My mind had been locked onto a course, and anything else would simply go unnoticed… or at least unchallenged.
The cabin I’d rented had two sturdy rocking chairs on the front porch. They were actually rather nice, and I ‘set’ well in them… Who knows, with a cushion for the bottom, these could become surrogates for my dreaded, fearful recliner… By the way, you’re probably wondering by now why I refer to my rather nice, quite comfortable, not at all inexpensive, leather Lazy-Boy recliner in such disparaging ways… There is, I think, a valid reason for that…
In my unique way of viewing the world, that fine piece of furniture has become a symbol, a metaphor. It has become for me the representation, the embodiment of the ‘velvet glove’ that masks the iron fist of advancing age…
At my last house, I had realized that I was spending entirely too much time absorbed in its comfy, nap-inducing embrace, watching my large screen TV in a semi-hypnotic state… doing nothing whatsoever useful or productive. I was wasting what precious time I have left… and I was wasting away… I could not allow that to continue!
One day out in the future, perhaps not far off at all by now, a day will come when I will simply no longer be able to throw my leg over ALI’s saddle and go in search of all the wonders that lie just around the next corner or just over some far away hill… I will have passed the point of no return, crossed the Rubicon, entered the home stretch bearing down on the finish line that is my own personal appointment at the local crematorium…
I have only until that day to do whatever it is that I need to do… Once I plant my tookus in that recliner then, there will be no getting back up and going back out yonder… Any time I’m tempted to spend any time in that moribund soul container/restrainer, spirit drainer, vitality absorber, I think about its deeper meaning to me… and I run like crazy!
I can’t avoid the end… none of us can. I can’t even extend it more than perhaps some insignificant amount of time at the margin… tack on maybe a year or two at the end of life… Yeah, the prospect of another ‘bonus’ period of time hanging onto a walker or lying in a bed receiving insincere guests doing their duty by visiting me in my room in the ‘imminent departure’ wing of some geriatric warehouse… Simply postponing death is not necessarily living, in my view…
What I can do is take full advantage of whatever time remains, no matter how brief, and maximize it to the fullest. So, here I am… riding all around the country, doing all of the things I used to dream about, fantasize about, and long to do… all the while I’m sprinting directly away from the danged ol’ recliner as fast and as hard as ALI and I can go! Yes, indeed, that recliner is a real booger! Its time will inevitably come, of course, but I for sure ain’t gonna rush it…
Thanks for indulging me here… I realize these appear to be rather morbid thoughts, but they are necessary for me to organize my thoughts and orchestrate my choices and actions… This laptop ain’t all bad, ya know… Nope, putting stuff down like this is most productive for me… therapeutic too.
So, when that light bulb above my head began to glow brightly that recent surprisingly wonderful morning, and while I was still recoiling from the effects of such a magnificent idea… I happened to cast an innocent glace at those rocking chairs… Don’t ask me why, habit perhaps…
Wouldn’t you know it?! I actually received an unmistakable invitation to sit down and ponder on this development for a spell… “Don’t rush to judgement,” it seemed to be saying, “This should first be thoroughly considered…”
Is there some sort of easy-chair subversive organization or something? I mean, do those things actually conspire to lure us old guys away from our mission? The ‘flight’ portion of my ‘fight or flight’ instinct kicked in, and I got the heck out of there! A geezer just can’t let his/her guard down at all…
Well, I’ve already described the ride ALI took me on… and the need for a smoke afterward… Cold shower? No way! I wouldn’t want to suppress that feeling or attempt to get it off my mind!!!