Ever stood in the batters’ box and faced a good knuckle-baller? They are the worst, I think, because their pitches, for this not-so-hot player anyway, are by far the most unpredictable. High and inside? Low and away? Should I swing? Where?
You never know for sure until the ball passes you by… and the ‘ump’ cries “stee-rike!” You glance towards the dugout, and you easily spot the coach… hands on hips, scowl of disapproval on his face… the implied threat of benching you… again. The pressure builds…
The utter confusion and bewilderment weigh heavily upon us, as ‘life’ constantly tosses knuckle-balls in our direction, too… Now what? Should I stay, should I go, should I do this or that…? Often, we’re paralyzed in our tracks with indecision, and only the ‘cry of the ump’ after-the-fact, and too late to affect the outcome, does the correct answer make itself known to us…
My cousin/brother is now spending his third day in the hospital. What was at first thought to be a ferocious flu bug has now turned into something more serious… at least it isn’t life threatening. He’s had a run of ill-fortune with his lower digestive tract for a number of years, and it now appears certain that condition has not yet run its course. He’ll soon be released, perhaps tomorrow, but who knows how long he’ll be under the weather…
My course, at least for the next few days, is set. I’ve done some obvious chores here at the house to ease his return, but that is little consolation. He lives alone, and he works part-time, but everything is on hold for now. I, too, am on hold…
Mercifully, ALI is most tolerant, and she does seem to understand. She just leans gently against her kickstand in the garage and waits… patiently, quietly, stoically. I did change her oil and filter the other day… good plan to set that up a couple of months ago, on a previous visit. Heck, Nick even has a ‘roller stool’ to ease the once easy but now rather arduous task of bending over to reach the drain plug and filter!
When in situations like this, I often turn to the word processor feature of my laptop for… whatever… A place to vent, an outlet for feelings, an occasional source of ‘answers’… not a crystal ball, mind you, but… And, not the instrument itself either, of course, but the act of thinking through what’s going on and then putting it all down. Actually committing things to writing is a very usual and helpful undertaking, I’ve found…
Because it is by definition a ‘record’ of sorts, it forces a certain level of honesty, thoroughness, and need for accuracy. It requires me to think more deeply and to focus upon details otherwise easily overlooked. I find that by doing this, I can work through conundrums and quandaries, and sometimes an answer will mysteriously appear… always, however, I find it helpful…
That, my friends, brings me up to date… I’m sitting here searching for an answer, as yet another knuckle-ball speeds in my direction… I already know what that answer almost certainly will be, too… Stay the course, play things by ear, react as appropriate when additional information and options present themselves… Hmmm, just like with every other puzzling situation and circumstance in life, huh… Careful, thoughtful, meticulous planning is useful, often essential, but in the end… well… you know…